Why are you being so morbid? Or, why should you care so much about senior living?

If you have ever talked to people, especially younger family members about senior or retirement living, you likely have been asked why are you being so morbid. They may have been particularly inquisitive if you mentioned estate planning or funeral planning. My academic background in finance and insurance made the topics routine for me, but the vast majority of people are quite uncomfortable with those topics. As we age and are closer or in retirement the questions of where to live, and how we will be able to receive the medical and personal care we eventually may need, becomes more personal.

My thinking had precedence from the example set by my parents. My father passed very suddenly and my mother passed about two years later after a short illness. My sisters and I would have been in total chaos had it not been that several years prior to my father’s demise, my parents had moved from their five bedroom home on 2.5 acres of land to an independent apartment in a senior living community. My parents senior apartment was a quarter the size of their previous home, which required them to dispose of a substantial amount of furniture and other possessions they had accumulated in their marriage of more than 50 years. The downsizing of possessions by itself was a tremendous help to me and my sisters. Beyond simply deciding what to do with all their “stuff,” the conversations and preparations that had taken place several years prior, made settling their respective estates easier and with much less stress. For example, my sisters and I knew what were their final wishes regarding funeral arrangements so fulfilling those wishes was simpler and more straightforward. They were able to enjoy their last few years to a greater extent knowing their final wishes were understood by their family, and from knowing their personal and medical needs would be met even though no other family lived close.

The reality is, whether we admit it or not, if we live long enough, most people will experience a decline in their ability to live independently. Planning for that eventuality is reasonable, and the responsible thing to do. You could think of doing so as the last gift we can give to our surviving loved ones.